Feeling Forward
A pathway of progress for perfectionists and people pleasers
When you’re trying to make a big decision—whether it’s about work, relationships, or life in general—what do you reach for?
If you’re anything like me, you probably lean into logic. Pros and cons. Risks and rewards. A tidy little SWOT analysis that lays everything out in a clean, colour-coded matrix.
It makes sense. We’ve been taught to approach life like scientists. Measure everything. Optimise for outcomes. Make the smartest choice based on the best available data.
But life isn’t something that can be measured objectively.
Our souls aren’t supposed to be optimised.
And at some point, all the clever thinking in the world can only take you so far. Life is so complex that eventually, there’s only one question left to ask:
What feels right?
Not what looks right.
Not what would make your parents proud or your friends impressed.
Not what gets the most likes on LinkedIn.
What. Feels. Right.
And that’s where it gets hard—especially if you’re not used to living life in this way.
Because by the time we’re old enough to start making these “big life decisions,” we’re already deep in the conditioning.
Conditioned by society. By culture. By early childhood experiences that taught us to seek approval, avoid rocking the boat, and stick to the script.
So even asking yourself what feels right? can feel… risky. Selfish. Maybe even a bit woo-woo.
But if you want to live a life that’s truly yours, you have to start doing something most of us were never taught to do:
You have to start feeling your way forward.
From SWOT to Sensation
We’ve spent a lot of time learning how to think well.
But most of us never learned how to feel well.
Now, I’m not saying we should let feelings drive every decision on a whim. This isn’t about romanticising chaos (tempting though that sometimes is). It’s about learning to recognise the difference between feelings that are grounded in wisdom, and feelings that are echoes of wounds.
Because some feelings will lead you to growth.
And others will just lead you in circles.
This isn’t about abandoning analysis. It’s about upgrading it.
It’s about moving from a purely cognitive approach to one that includes the intelligence of the body, the nervous system, and the heart.
It’s a journey of integrating all our parts and learning the art of emotional discernment.
Or somatic wisdom.
Or just… a deeper form of listening.
It’s the skill of noticing:
Is this sensation expansive or contracting?
Is this excitement—or fear disguised as practicality?
Is this “should” energy or “true yes” energy?
And that skill—of interpreting your own signals—isn’t something you’re born knowing how to do.
It’s something you practice.
Practicing Being You
Here’s the great paradox of becoming yourself:
You only learn how to be you by practicing being you.
And that means making choices not just based on what others will approve of, but based on what feels aligned—even if it scares you.
Especially if it scares you.
It’s a practice of paying attention to the sensations in your body that point toward aliveness.
The subtle nudges. The quiet sparks. The feeling of something cracking open, even slightly.
And no, it’s not always neat or pretty.
Sometimes you’ll misread the signs.
Sometimes you’ll follow a feeling, only to realise it came from an old story or a hidden fear.
But every time you listen—really listen—you get better at recognising the signals that are yours.
And that’s how you build the muscle of self-trust.
Commitment Through Clarity
When you learn how to feel forward, commitment stops being something you force.
It becomes something you offer—willingly, joyfully, whole-heartedly.
You commit not because it ticks the most boxes, but because something in you lights up when you say yes.
Even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.
Even if it leads to uncertainty or discomfort.
Because now you know the difference between what expands you and what contracts you.
And maybe that’s what real intentional living is:
Not perfect decisions.
But courageous ones.
Guided not just by what you think, but by what you feel in your bones is right.
First Steps to Feeling Forward
So next time you face a decision, don’t just run a SWOT analysis.
Pause.
Breathe.
Feel.
Ask yourself:
Where in my body do I feel this?
Does it feel like growth or retreat?
Is this a “yes” that comes from truth, or a “yes” that comes from fear?
And then—if it feels expansive, if it feels like it might just open you a little more to life—
Commit.
Not forever.
But fully.
Because the life that’s waiting for you isn’t on someone else’s roadmap.
It’s on the path you feel your way into.
Step by step.
Choice by choice.
Practice by practice.
Feeling forward.