The Equation of Life
Despair = Suffering - Meaning
According to Buddhism the First Noble Truth is suffering (dukkha).
Suffering in life can’t be avoided but how we experience it can be managed.
In his book Emotional Equations Chip Conley shared this simple equation.
I found it helpful to ponder on it.
In business there are always hard things to do; things that we find unpleasant that we either avoid or we do anyway and complain about.
And so we can suffer.
And that suffering can be experienced as pain and despair. Especially if we resist it.
We add suffering onto suffering.
But if we find meaning in what we do then we can reduce the despair, even if the suffering is still there.
Finding meaning helps us meet life and the obstacles it throws at us with acceptance… and sometimes agency.
Where does meaning come from?
Well that’s a complex question in itself.
But I’ve found the Map of Meaning designed by Marjolein Lips-Wiersma and Lani Morris a helpful tool to undestand it.
I can feel into meaning by feeling into the tension between doing for myself vs doing for others, as well as being with myself vs being with others.
When its all about me then I can lose a sense of purpose and impact.
When it’s all about others I can lose myself and burn out.
When doing hard things, if I’m able to tell a story of who it’s for and why it’s important then I can give it meaning.
Is it for me?
Is it for others?
Do I need to act?
Or should I let things unfold?
If I can answer these questions I can then give sense to the suffering and not fall into despair and hopelessness.
On the rollercoaster journey of making money, making impact and staying sane I’ve found this a helpful reframe.
What’s your relationship to suffering?
And how do you work with meaning?
I’m enjoying the accountability of posting daily that I got from David Hieatt’s Microblogging course.
It’s been helpful process for clarifying my ideas and learning from others.